do not be afraid of sex education
What is your relationship with your doctor? I spent months talking to my doctor about std symptoms, but was written off as being paranoid because I am young and had a clean test a few months prior. After about 9 months of concern on my part, my partner found out they had something. Only then did my doctor believe me. I want a doctor who actually cares about my health, but I dont know how to do that. It makes sense that they arent as emotional as me, but I still want them to not write it off.
When it comes to doctors I take a pretty staunch position - they went to medical school and selected their medical focus to help people. I come with a list of questions (if I have them) and politely demand their attention and their answers because, after all, they are the experts. It doesn’t matter if you’re going to a free clinic or the most expensive private doctor in the country, you have value, your questions have value and, ultimately, you have the right to the information. Because of finances I have had to wait up to 4 1/2 hours to see a doctor at Planned Parenthood and, even then, I asked as many questions as I needed until I felt I understood the issue. I made a short rant video about this as well because the lack of attention doctors give to their clients is a serious problem. Doctors are a source of knowledge and should give that to their patients no matter what. Demand that from them!
Is He Ignoring Your Text Messages? Read this! « sisters of resistance
“This is about a consistent pattern of behavior. It’s about controlling the conversation.”
Actually a really interesting article. Unfortunately I see Dudes Past in this. Validating that it’s not just me or my problem that I started to feel crazy/worthless…
This is a fantastic article, although I know this issue transcends heteronormative relationship dynamics. Technology has both accelerated our ability to communicate, exchange information and share ideas but has simultaneously accelerated ones own ability to exercise privilege over another. I have been through this dynamic many times - where a privileged partner exercises that privilege by picking and choosing when and how communication takes place - and it is a pattern that, once I see occur, I simply can’t engage with. I don’t care if we are just fucking or if we are seriously dating - communication is key as it not only establishes a line of communication, but it symbolizes ones acknowledgement and respect for the other person. Thoughts?
Source: discosherpa
From The Mailbag: Coming Out Kinky
“Remember that you are not alone. A lot of us love this stuff, live this stuff, find the hardware store a super-erotic place, and get off on dark and perverted stuff. Good luck! Godspeed! May there be wind in your sails and tails on your back.
And let me know how it goes!”
Great article!
Source: gadsen
Anti-Sex Ed Curriculum Makes the List: Don’t Blame Obama, Blame the System
Written by Norman A. Constantine, Eva S. Goldfarb, Danny Ceballos, and Carmen Rita Nevarez for RH Reality Check. This diary is cross-posted; commenters wishing to engage directly with the author should do so at the original post.
See all our coverage of Heritage Keepers Abstinence Education here.
A recently updated list of federally approved “evidence-based” teen pregnancy prevention programs has been causing a stir. This list specifies the programs that are eligible for federal funds and serves as the cornerstone of President Obama’s Teen Pregnancy Prevention Initiative. Among the three programs making the list for the first time is the Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage program Heritage Keepers Abstinence Education. Our friends and fellow advocates in the adolescent sexual health promotion field have denounced this program as medically inaccurate, biased, fear- and shame-based, and otherwise inappropriate for the classroom. Here we all agree, completely. A program like this has no place in our schools and communities, and especially not with government funding.
But we take issue with criticisms of the Obama administration for “backroom deals and secrecy,” “political expediency,” and “blatant hypocrisy,” among other barbs and arrows recently launched by understandably frustrated advocates. Rather than blaming Obama for this unfortunate development, we’d all do better to recognize that it was the result of a fundamentally flawed system operating according to explicit agreed-upon rules—a system sorely in need of review and repair.
What’s wrong with this system? Simply put, it is based on a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of scientific evidence and its appropriate use. To earn a place on the list, a program needs only to produce one statistically significant outcome in one evaluation study–no matter how many outcomes were tested across how many studies. Yet it is a well-known principle of research statistics that the likelihood of a false finding increases as the number of outcomes tested increases. In fact, if a program has no effect, for every twenty outcomes tested one outcome can be expected to be incorrectly identified as a statistically significant effect merely due to chance alone. Even testing just two outcomes raises the probability of a false finding of effectiveness beyond the traditionally tolerated level of less than five percent. The technical name for taking advantage of this principle to obtain a statistically significant finding is “fishing for significance.”
Source: rhrealitycheck
Oh dear god.
And, possibly, even, Dear God….
Wow. I’m just going to leave this one here …
Source: neil-gaiman
I had my period normally this month. It ended about 2 daysago now. Like I stopped bleeding so I thought I was done with my period. Then the next day no bleeding at all. & now today when I wipe after using the bathroom I see light pink. What culd this mean? & I do have hsv2 but I doubt tht has anything to do with this. Idk if It culd hve anything to do with tht but my poop has been kinda watery
This is really common. It is normal for your period to teeter off, not bleeding for two days then spotting slightly the next. This is likely unrelated to your HSV. It just means your period is still ending. If the spotting continues, or becomes a regular occurrence further in-between your periods I would consult you doctor.
When I squirt during sex, I get really nauseous. Once i'm done squirting and breathe, the nausea passes. Any reason why I feel so sick? Is that normal?
I’ve seen quite a few asks, both on my own blogs and others, with this same question. It could be lack of hydration - are you drinking enough water? It could also be because your orgasms are particularly intense - the release is a whole body experience. You could always discuss this issue with your gynecologist if you felt like it was becoming a serious problem or was taking away from your ability to experience pleasure.
Ok- this is embarrassing. I'm 20 years old and a virgin (I'm fine with that part) but now I want to have sex with the guy I've been with for two years, but... It really REALLY hurts whenever we try. We once spent two hours, and he didn't even get the tip in. We did everything we could think of, used two kinds of lubricant, him on top, me on top, nothing... Is there something wrong with me?
Okay - these are my thoughts:
1. Muscle tension/relaxation: It sounds like this has worked you both up, so your sexual debut has now evolved into something that is just focusing on successful penetration rather than experiencing arousal and pleasure. It isn’t just about lubrication (however, it is very important) - it is about being relaxed and allowing yourself to be aroused. When you are aroused, your body will naturally produce its own lubricant and the vaginal muscles will expand and open, creating more space for penetration to occur. Try not to focus on achieving what you have in your minds eye of a successful sexual debut - instead, focus on a) taking your time b) taking your time with plenty of foreplay and c) slowly working towards penetration (i.e after plenty of foreplay and a general sense of arousal is achieved, have your partner use their fingers first. Start with one, then try two. This might help as well).
2. Hymen: There is an enormous misunderstanding of the hymen - it is not a piece of skin that shields the vagina. It is a pliable membrane that covers only a small part of the vagina. However, some people can have more “coverage” than others, which can make initial penetrative experience a bit more painful as the membrane is being stretched (not popped). If, after trying the recommendations from number one, you’re still experiencing the pain I would suggest you go to your gynecologist and discuss the issue with them.
I hope this helps!
virginity defined
I love this. Yes - virginity is not simply the first time you have penis/vagina intercourse - it is the moment in which you discover, experiment and try something new. It is the moment you decide that you have been awakened somehow or that the physical unknown is no longer a mystery but something to say you have experienced. Virginity has nothing to do with the illusion of purity … unless, of course, you want it to :)
Source: hiohmegan
Eric Berkowitz: Sex and Punishment: 11 of the Most Outrageous Cases of Sex Being Criminalized Throughout History
Some interesting (and abhorrent) tidbits on the early criminalization of sex and masturbation.
Q.
Very interesting.
Source: qbits
I'd like to say a MASSIVE thank you for your herpes posts. Being diagnosed with it recently I have went through a range of emotions, mostly shame and fear, thinking people would think bad of me for having it. But this blog has shown me not to be ashamed, I did nothing wrong, and at the end of the day, I could have worse things happen to me. Thank you for making me feel normal again! :D
My pleasure! Happy to have helped in some way :)
Hi. My boyfriend just told me that he's polyamourous and loves another girl, but he keeps telling me he loves me. I recognize poly, but it's hard for me to believe that he loves her and me. We've been together for a few years and it feels like everything is crashing down. I don't want her in my life, but I think I may have to choose. What do I do?
This is really unfortunate. Your partner should have been upfront and honest with you about their sexual orientation from the beginning - now you’re in a situation where you’re being surprised by a multitude of new information. However, there is no point dwelling on what should have been done, shared or expressed - the reality is that your partner is indeed poly and has an additional love interest. There isn’t a thing you could do to change this and I’m so sorry for that. The only thing you can do anon is try to make sense of how you feel. Could you maintain a healthy, happy relationship with your partner knowing and accepting (acceptance is key - acceptance is the only way to bypass resentment) his sexuality and his new, additional partner(s)? Could you maintain your integrity, your sense of self and your identity within these new circumstances? If, after taking the time to think and asses, your answer to these questions is yes, then you can stay with your partner, learn and grow and perhaps discover different aspects of yourself and your ability to love. But if you feel, if even for a moment, you couldn’t do these things, that you couldn’t maintain your integrity, find acceptance and live with authenticity then you have a very big decision to make. No matter which way you go - your feelings and your choice is valid. I wish I could tell you that someone else could make the decision to stay or leave for you, but that choice lies within you. Take time, be honest, communicate and know that no matter what choice you end up making, everything will be alright.
Is it okay that I don't feel comfortable labeling my own sexuality? I mean people ask my about my sexuality all the time (which I hate btw) and I never know how to reply. I don't want to say straight because I'm not. I don't want to say gay because it doesn't feel right. I don't want to say queer because I don't really like the word (reclaim it if you want, but it always made me feel uncomfortable). I just don't know how to label myself. How important do you think labels are?
I think labels are only important if you think labels are important. You don’t need to label yourself - when people ask, you can just say you are who you are, you like what you like. If you don’t feel comfortable then don’t force yourself to align with an orientation for the sake of making others feel comfortable. Sexuality is a process, a developing storyline throughout your life. It will grow, change, expand and evolve. Don’t worry about what others think and don’t worry about the future - accept yourself as label-less because, today, that is what feels comfortable. Tomorrow might be a different story. And that is perfectly acceptable.
hi. im under a hormonal contraceptive called mesygina that is a monthly shot to prevent pregnancy. ive got about 4 shots and i wanted to know if i get pregnant when i had period sex without a condom but without him ejaculating inside of me. also, i heard that if the guy takes a piss before sex the pre cum will not have sperm. please let me know if i am wrong and how can i have period sex wothout a condom and without conserning about pregnancy. thanks
If you are on birth control such as the one you are taking, it is highly unlikely that you would become pregnant. Birth control is designed to make sure you don’t have an unwanted pregnancy. The myth you have been told about urinating before sex is just that - a myth. In addition, when you take birth control you’re not having an actual period. There is no egg involved - its called a withdrawal bleed. For more on this, click here . So to sum this up - if you are taking your birth control shots, you are protected against unwanted pregnancy. It doesn’t matter if you’re having sex on your “period” or two weeks after. If you were not on birth control, this would be a very different story. Birth control also does not protect you from STD’s. I would also encourage you to ask your doctor about this next time you get your shot - don’t be afraid to ask your medical providers questions! They should be able to give you all the information you need regarding the contraceptive you are using.
