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This is the crux of high school. It seems it is unavoidable - even the people we consider “cool” and “popular” struggle with codes of acceptance. It can be really challenging during high school as we are figuring out who we are and the opinions of others have a huge impact on our developing identities. However, it is also incredibly important to stay authentic to your personal truth. If you aren’t ready to have sex, then do not have sex. Your sexual experiences should be yours and they should be done on your terms - not based on the desires of others or subcultures. If you’re made fun of for staying truthful to who you are, maintaining your authenticity and having clear boundaries then middle finger to the world.
When we are in High School, it seems like it is the whole world. And for good reason. In a lot of ways, it is. However, when you leave, you leave and you enter into a whole new world. Its far better to enter into that “new world” with a practice of boundaries and listening to your gut instinct than doing things because of pressure. Stay strong anon, and do only what you feel is best for you. It might cause you some high school drama right now, but in the long run it will be dust off your shoulder.
Do you feel anxious about the idea of getting tested for sexually transmitted infections and diseases? Some of our readers certainly do.
Some never had adequate sex-education and did not realize that sexual activity with a partner — and not just anal or vaginal intercourse — can pose STI risks in the first place. Some are not sure where to go for testing or how to ask for it. Others feel uncomfortable discussing STIs with a partner or potential partner. We get it: this stuff can be hard, and it is usually not the kind of thing where someone just takes us by the hand and leads us through.
This is why we’re doing this new series at Scarleteen’s blog. In it, some of Scarleteen’s volunteers share their own stories of how they deal with different aspects of STI testing and reproductive healthcare.
This summer, I went to my clinic to see a general practitioner (GP) for an annual check-up.
This clinic is affiliated with a local university so the way it works is a little different than many others. Officially I’m a certain GP’s patient, but I see the residents that she supervises whenever I go. This has meant that the level of care has varied, but in general has been fairly high. When I made the appointment, I did not have any particular concerns, but I wanted to get a pap smear and STI testing.
In the past, I have made some unsafe decisions, and I have also been in situations where a partner has not respected my condom-use wishes. Since then, I have had several clear results from pap smears and STI tests, but I have been going at least once a year as a precaution. My last pap and STI test were in February of 2011. I should also mention that I live in Ontario, Canada, and that this visit and the tests were covered by the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP).
As I mentioned, this appointment was performed by a resident. Overall, she seemed a little awkward and I got the impression that she didn’t really like performing annual exams and all that they entail. She was however, very nice, nonjudgmental, and very good at checking in with me throughout and making sure everything was good — for example, “Is this ok?” “When you’re ready,” “If that’s ok with you…” — which I really appreciated.
After checking my ears, throat, lungs, and heart, the doctor palpated my abdomen and performed a breast exam. Then it was time for the speculum exam…
Read the rest here!
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Yes! Planned Parenthood - they are confidential and, if not free, of very little cost. They will not contact your parents, or anyone in your family. It is strictly between you and them. However, before you go get tested, you might want to take this little quiz to see if getting tested at this point is even necessary.
There is nothing unsafe about having sex during a persons menstrual period. Periods are highly stigmatized - most people are taught that this is a very dirty and unhygienic aspect of life. But the truth is quite the contrary. If you choose to have sex with your partner while they’re on their period, nothing “unsafe” will inherently occur. However, If either one or both of you has an STD, your chances of transmission are much higher at that time and there still remains a chance of becoming pregnant when having unprotected sex even if you are menstruating. But infections, “being dirty”, and all the other things we often think of when we imagine period-sex are actually not true. Check out this source on the myths and facts about this! (gendered language).
The direction of the rolling will tell you if you’re using the correct side. The condom should easily roll down the shaft of the penis/vibrator/dildo - so the roll should be on the outside and unravel counterclockwise down towards the base of the penis/vibrator/dildo. If you start off incorrectly, you’ll need to use another condom. If the condom is lubricated, you can also tell because the lubricant should be on the outside of the condom. This is a really great “how-to" resource for condoms.
Conception during menstruation is rare, although it can happen. It would have to happen in perfect timing with ovulation. According to the American Pregnancy Association:
Pregnancy can occur from intercourse that takes place during a period. This is because sperm can live in the body for up to five days, and if a [person] ovulates soon after [their] period, then conception could take place from intercourse that occurred during her period.
So, it is unlikely but not impossible. If you’re really concerned, your best bet - emergency contraception.
First things first, connect to your breath. Take deep, reassuring breaths in and out and try to calm your mind. When I experience anxiety its like my thoughts are pigeons flying around inside my mind and when I connect to my breath, its like wrapping the pigeons in a net and bringing them back down to earth, in a concentrated place.
You have to remind yourself that your anxiety is over a reality that doesn’t exist. You’re panicking about a result that has not yet been given -you won’t know until you know. Try to focus on the present moment, instead of a potential future. You will get your results soon enough and will likely be relieved by there answer. In the event you have some other STD, most bacterial infection can be cured with simple antibiotics and, viral STD’s can be lived with happily with a change in lifestyle and perspective. Just be kind to yourself and focus on the things that bring you joy and make you feel calm. Everything will be alright.