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Anonymous asked:
I'd like to say a MASSIVE thank you for your herpes posts. Being diagnosed with it recently I have went through a range of emotions, mostly shame and fear, thinking people would think bad of me for having it. But this blog has shown me not to be ashamed, I did nothing wrong, and at the end of the day, I could have worse things happen to me. Thank you for making me feel normal again! :D

My pleasure! Happy to have helped in some way :) 

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Anonymous asked:
I just want to thank you for running this fantastic blog but also for being open with your followers about having HSV. I contracted HSV-2 about 2 years ago and I've since worked through a lot of issues with it. I ended up telling a close friend after I contracted it and she reacted by calling me a "slut" and "whore" and ever since then I've been very reluctant to open up about having HSV. Thank you for fighting this stigma and making me feel less alone.

I’m sorry your friend reacted that way to you - it is very sad to me how misunderstood STD’s are. I hope you know you are not a “slut” or “whore” because you have HSV. The ideas of sluts and whores are socially constructed - they have no validity unless we give them the power to mean something. People who have STD’s are sexually active people who are the unfortunate victims of circumstance in many ways. It is a part of sexuality - just like any other part of the body, the genitals can get “sick”. It is not a reflection of who you are and, if anything, your friend only revealed that they are not really a friend at all. Onward and upward - don’t be ashamed of who you are and what you have. You’re magnificent. 

Anonymous submission: 

Okay to start off, i’m 19 and i haven’t had a good sexual history. I was 14 when i lost my virginity to a 19 year old who took advantage. I slept around without condoms and eventually when i was 18, i had a sexual health scare. I had bacterial vaginosis but until i was diagnosed i was convinced i had an STI. I had a full test and everything came back negative. I vowed to myself that day that i would be more careful and start looking after myself and i did. I didn’t even have sex with anyone between my sexual health test and my partner. 

I have known my partner 3 years now and we have always adored  . He was a good friend of one of the scumbags i dated before so our feelings were always suppressed. Eventually, we couldn’t hack it anymore and we got together. He hasn’t had much sexual experience, unlike my other ex boyfriends, he had only had sex with people he had been in a good relationship with and who he cared for. He only ever had sex with one girl without a condom and waited a year into their relationship to do so. Which is why this situation is so hard to swallow.

About two weeks ago, he had a sore patch on his penis. I shrugged it off as being irritation as he had been using harsh products to clean himself. We had sex unprotected as we always have as we are hoping for a baby. The next day he had a patch of small white lumps come up and we went to the clinic that day. The doctor said that he was 99% sure it was herpes and took tests. The lumps were tiny and white. Because they were so small the doctor actually pulled two of the lumps off and sent off two samples for tests.

I was confused. Why him and not me? It should have been me. After all of them unprotected one night stands with well known players. I didn’t have any symptoms but wondered if i had it from the unprotected sex the night before. At first i was fine but when the shock wore off i was always angry at him. I shouted at him for being so stupid but the thing is… he wasn’t. He had always been careful. I was the one who had been stupid.

A few days later the lumps literally fell off and there was nothing to me seen. The doctor said that it would be there for at least a week. 

After a week we called for the results and everything came back negative. This was again really confusing as i had slowly started coming to terms with the fact he has herpes and i might have them too. I asked the women on the phone what the chances of the test results being wrong were and she said they were actually pretty high and it can depend on how much of the virus they picked up on the swab but the doctor took two of the lumps as separate samples. I asked her about a blood test and she said it’s expensive and not reliable so they don’t do it. She said a blood test would show up positive every time if you’ve had chicken pox and we both have.

I then was given a link by a friend for this website where they can test what type of herpes you have and if you even have it or not. It’s a blood test and costs about £60 to have done, it’s a trusted site and i have heard from other people that blood tests can confirm.

I’m just so confused, it’s so much to take in. At first it was okay for my partner because he had been told that it was herpes but i didn’t know if i had it or not. My partner hadn’t been with his ex for 3 years meaning it would have stayed in his body until now and i was worried that in 3 years i will randomly get it. It’s a horrible feeling not knowing. 

Our sex life has been weird too, i hate using condoms, they’re uncomfortable and i find it hard to even get aroused when using them but i don’t want to risk not using one now. 

Then we got the results through and they’re all negative. It’s just horrible, now neither of us know for sure and we are both sat here just wondering. No confirmation. One minuet being told he has herpes and then next being told he doesn’t. Then different info about blood tests. I just need to know and it’s driving me insane.

I was wondering if you have any advice for me :( i can’t even tell anyone or talk to anyone, they won’t understand and my partner doesn’t want me too.

The Sex Uneducated: 

Sounds like you certainly have been through the ringer. My best advice to you is to get a second opinion. Go to another doctor, another clinic and get re-tested. I wouldn’t hurt to get a blood test either. Unfortunately, it is only a doctor who will be able to confirm whether or not either of you have an STD. What I can do is make suggestions as to what to do emotionally. From your post, it sounds like you are pretty adamant about not using condoms. I can understand your opinion about this, but you also have to know that when you make a choice like that your risk for contracting an STD will also go up. If your need to not use a condom is greater than your chances of remaining STD-free, then you have to take responsibility for your chances. Best case scenario, your boyfriend does not indeed have herpes. Take this as an opportunity to learn, to assess your relationship and your sexual behavior with one another. Could you handle something like that? Are you willing to make changes in order to lower your risk? Once you’ve answered these questions and engaged in open and honest dialogue with one another, you can move forward in your relationship with a stronger sense of where you stand. 

New Results on HSV-2 Cure Research

Article on LifeScientist.com.au:

“Experimental DNA vaccine gives full protection against herpes
Coridon has announced the results of a pre-clinical animal study of new DNA vaccine showing 100% protection against herpes simplex virus 2.


Brisbane-based Coridon has reached another milestone in the development of its pioneering DNA vaccine against herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) with results from a pre-clinical efficacy study showing it was 100 per cent effective in protecting animals against the virus.

Coridon now plans to progress the DNA virus programme into human clinical studies, with funding from its major investor, Allied Healthcare Group (ASX:AHZ).

he vaccine was developed by Professor Ian Frazer and his team at Coridon, and the study was done in collaboration with Professor David Koelle at the University of Washington in Seattle.

The results of the study were presented at the 5th Vaccine and ISV Annual Global Congress in Seattle on 3rd October 2011.

“The results of our herpes vaccine mark the beginning of an exciting period,” said Professor Frazer.

“Over the next 12 months, we expect pivotal data showing that our HSV vaccine, which incorporates Coridon optimisation technology, produces similar immune responses in the clinic to those seen in the animal trials.”

The DNA vaccine works differently to conventional vaccines. DNA from the virus is injected into the individual, and the body generates an immune response against the proteins encoded by that DNA.

This then enables the body to mount an effective immune defence against the full virus should it ever appear.

DNA vaccines have the tremendous benefit of not only offering prophylactic protection, but also potentially curing individuals currently infected by the virus.

Coridon is developing DNA vaccines for the prevention and treatment of a range of infectious diseases and cancers in humans.”

I hate that you can’t reblog asks!

earthwindandherpes:

Laura answered this question earlier and I wanted to share:

I need help. I really do. I’ve been trying so hard to be positive about having herpes, but sometimes it’s just so hard. I guess I’m just worried I won’t find someone that will want to spend there life with me. I can’t get over the feeling of regret. PLEASE HELP ME <3 

Everything will be ok, I promise. Believe me.

Right now, you’re giving all your power to this virus, but who you are is so much bigger and brighter and more beautiful. Your mind is a powerful thing you know. You can change your perception of this.

I’m going to ask you a question: do you believe in love? If you do, then you must also believe that love is condition-less, yes? It may sound cheesy, but I believe that love conquers all things if we allow it to. 

So, if you believe that love is real, that it exists, why would you be less worthy of experiencing that? 

You aren’t less worthy. You aren’t less deserving. You are made of love, as we all are. It is your very nature. Having herpes will not lock you up in a room where no one will find you. You will meet a person, people, many people that will see the love of who you are before they see that you have an STD, and when they see the STD they won’t even care because the love is far more important. 

Don’t lose hope. Things just take time. Take the opportunity of being alone as a chance to learn and grow so you’ll be more prepared when love arrives at your door. :)

I just wanted to reblog this because I went on a date yesterday for the first time in a quite a while. I told him I have herpes a few hours into our talking and he completely understood, honored how brave I was to share that with him and said he was someone who could see beyond such a thing. We ended up having a pretty amazing kiss at the end of it all and will be seeing each other next week for a hiking adventure. So, they do exist - people who don’t judge, people who accept - they exist and I have had the pleasure of meeting several. Open your heart and your mind and, eventually, they will reveal themselves to you. I promise. 

HSV-2 Photos: Day 3 and 5

The following photos are of Day 3 and 5. The day 3 photos are the most painful/uncomfortable. On day 5, today, I can’t feel much of anything.

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HSV-2 Photos

Many followers have asked to see pictures of an outbreak. I woke up this morning to a new outbreak on the back of my leg. Click the link to see photos of Day 1. I have included my nails in one photo to show proportion. I am posting these pictures to show more realistic depiction of what a herpes outbreak looks like.

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Anonymous asked:
Hi, Great Blog. i am 26, and i was diagnosed with HSV2 when i was 23. I am having a hard time dating cuz i just cant see myself being vulnerable by telling someone i have this disease. I keep making excuses for my family and friends that i am not looking for a gf but frankly, i am just afraid of being stigmatized. So, how do you know who to trust whom you possibly want to date with this information, cuz i really want to get married and be a dad soo bad. Thank you! Worried Billy!

Hi Worried Billy! I understand your concern, I really do. However, let me ask you this: lets say you did not have HSV, how would you learn to trust any potential partner? All of us have things that are deeply personal, or relationship standards we value (like monogamy in some cases). Whether you have HSV or not, we always have to instill a certain level of trust in another person. No matter what, healthy relationships require vulnerability so It takes a leap of faith - trusting to trust. Other than accepting that in order to open yourself up to the possibility of meeting someone with the intention of marriage and family, the best advice I can give you is to remember that you can gauge the speed with which a relationship progresses by creating boundaries. Boundaries don’t mean markers of emotional unavailability - they simply mean the boundaries we create around pieces of information, aspects of our personality, or protection of our body and, as time progresses and a partner earns your trust, those boundaries can dissipate to reveal a more intimate understanding of one another. 

Eventually, if you want to be in a committed relationship, you will have to have enough faith in yourself and your self worth to open up to the possibility of love and partnership. Taking your time and allowing your partner to reveal themselves and their character to you (as you do the same) will enable you to trust someone will understand … and I promise they will. 

The Importance of Checking In

mmmajestic:

communityandresistance:

Checking in with yourself is an act of self-affirmation, a way of reminding yourself that your inner being matters. It is also a way of giving yourself credit for all your efforts. Some good times to check in with yourself include: when you are being triggered, right after talking about what you’ve experienced, right after a therapy session, etc. 

Suggestions for How to Check In

  1. Think about the following questions/statement, and if you journal, consider writing your answers.
  • What are you thinking right now?
  • How are you feeling?  Empowered, drained, frightened, ashamed, hopeful, angry, or some other feeling? Recognize these feelings as valid and true.
  • What physical discomforts are you experiencing? 
  • Do you need to contact a trusted friend or seek medical care?
  • If you are feeling very frightened, afraid or distressed what can you do right now to take care of yourself emotionally, physically, or mentally?
  • Acknowledge the work you have done thus far in healing.
  • Share your happiness or joy with someone close to you.
This exercise adapted from here.

Followers, what are some ways you check in with yourself? Do you have any suggestions for others? What works for you and what doesn’t? What has been your experience with checking in? Is it beneficial for you? Or try these tips and lets us know how they worked! Submit your story or ask questions!

this should be shared as much as possible

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Anonymous asked:
I CANNOT at you talking about your herpes outbreak LMAO. That's seriously revolting that you have a disease to remind you of the consequences of indiscriminate/casual sex yet it's still something you support and see no problem with. Lol wow

Yes. I absolutely see no problem with having HSV. None whatsoever. Yes, I support feeling empowered by living with a viral STD and not allowing it to define who I am, my value as a human being or my ability to function as a person within society. Yes I blog about living with an STD because I have a voice as do all of those who are living with STD’s. Yes I talk about living with herpes in an attempt to lead by example and create a safe place for people to share, ask questions and, hopefully, feel empowered as well.

Your presumption that it is a reflection of “indiscriminate/casual sex” reveals the very need for comprehensive sex education as your ideology is based on misinformation. In addition, the fact that you correlate my sexual health status with casual sex and indiscriminate acts of lust also reveals the power of stigma. You have absolutely no idea the circumstances under which I contracted this disease and I would encourage you to evaluate your own sexual health practices to ensure you don’t ever have to deal with the ramifications your trolling comment allude to because I assure you STD’s don’t discriminate. They don’t exist with a “moral reader” in an effort to protect those who are socially believed to be pure. No.

So, I hope you feel better anon after releasing such uninvited judgement because you have not succeeded in making me feel any lesser than. I am only engaging in this dialogue to show my followers who find themselves in a similar situation that even in the face of misguided opinions such as the one you have shared, you can still remain resilient. I create my identity, not you, and to me, my identity is empowered- yes EMPOWERED - even though I contracted an STD. 

Also, to anyone who is having an outbreak: I’m having one too! Know that you aren’t alone and it doesn’t define you! Soon enough it will be gone and healed. Until then, keep your head held high. You have nothing to be ashamed of! 

- The Sex Uneducated

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Anonymous asked:
Your page and my herpes diagnosis inspired me to become a gynocologist but maybe specifically for transgenders :)

This is fantastic! We need more people in the medical fields with an inclusive practice. People, no matter their gender identity, orientation or sexual health status, need to feel safe when visiting their doctor. I would advise though not to use the term “transgenders” - its considered a derogatory term. Instead, use “transgender people” or “trans*gender people” (the asterisk indicates inclusivity of other non-binary gender identities) . Good luck with everything! You will be fantastic :) 

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withmywatercol0urs asked:
Hi there, my sister has recently become sexually active and my mum is freaking out over the possibility of her catching any STD's from oral sex. She's worried about herpes. Can herpes only be caught through contact or can one be born with it in their genes? Thank you

HSV (herpes) is not hereditary. It can only be contracted through skin-to-skin contact. No matter when you become sexually active, the chances of contracting an STD remain the same. The best you can do is use protection (even for oral sex i.e use dental dams and condoms), get tested regularly, communicate with your partners about both yourself and their sexual history - even get tested together. Is there a specific reason she is worried about herpes in particular? 

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Anonymous asked:
my ex boyfriend stole my phone and posted all over different social networks under my name stating the fact that i have HSV. i went on and denied it saying my phone was stolen but now i feel like a liar, what do you think would have been a better way of handling this situation?

I cannot express how unjust, spiteful and vindictive your ex-partners actions are. It is no ones right, I mean no ones, to disclose the sexual health status of another person against their will. To do so is incredibly negligent and dangerous. 

I don’t think you are a liar at all. In this instance, you’ve had to lie to protect your privacy. If you were to become more intimately involved with someone within your social circle, then you can re-reveal this personal information but just because your ex-partner has taken it upon themselves to tell everyone you know that you have herpes, does not mean you should then affirm the fact. I think, under the circumstances, you did the best thing you could have done for you.

Does anyone else have any advice about this? I really hope you create a strong boundary between yourself and your ex-partner. Don’t further dis empower yourself by engaging, communicating or somehow apologizing to them. They do not deserve your attention or time. In my mind, after an action such as you’ve experience, a person loses all respect in my eyes. 

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Anonymous asked:
I am considering entering into a relationship with an HSV2+ man, but am conflicted about it and am trying to do all the research I can about the risks of transmission. It sounds like some people go for many years in a relationship with someone with herpes without getting infected. However, you note in your blog that you transmitted to two people. Do you know whether it was transmitted during a time when you were using protection? Do you know anyone who contracted herpes even with protection?

Hi there! I’m so happy you’ve reached out! To me, this means that your potential partner is communicating with you about their sexual health status, which speaks volumes. I am also happy you’re taking the time to consider, research and contemplate your decision. If you do decide to move forward with this partner, you will have a strong foundation of trust and communication in place.

I transmitted to both previous partners by not using protection and engaging in sexual activity at the time of an outbreak. There are many people who have contracted HSV with protection, because they still engage in sexual activity during an outbreak - an outbreak, or viral shedding as it is sometimes referred to, is a long process. From initial symptoms all the way up to healing can take up to 3 weeks sometimes. It’s very important to not engage in sexual activity with the area of expression until it is completely healed, even with protection. Medication can help the expression heal faster and suppress the virus. 

My best advice to you anon is to follow your instinct. You are not a bad person if you can’t “consciously” take the risk, just as your potential partner is not a bad person for having HSV2. I say “consciously” take the risk because every time we have sex with anyone, we risk, to a certain degree, contracting something. STDs are so common, that it is almost guaranteed a large percentage of the population will have an STD at some point in their life. 

If you decide to move forward with the relationship, I would recommend going to the doctor together, getting tested together, and talking to the doctor together about any questions, fears and advice you may need or have. Using protection, abstaining from sexual activity with the area of expression at the time of expression and staying in communication with your partner regarding both of your health will be your best approach to maintaining your sexual health - things everyone, whether HSV2+ or not, should be doing. 

Ultimately the decision is up to you. Being with someone who is HSV2+ is really no different than being with someone who doesn’t, except you are forced to communicate, to further trust, and to ultimately consider what you are or are not willing to potentially sacrifice for a relationship. No matter what you decide anon, communicate with your potential partner with honesty, respect and empathy. Other than that, all you can do is be true to yourself and your needs.