Sex + Gender
Queer + Feminist
Social theory + Cultural Critique


condoms “sized-to-fit”…gee, that makes so much more sense than making them all in only two different sizes, one of which is named “MAGNUM” which probably makes men think they need the big one just because it’s named magnum and not “average”…

This is fantastic! A size for everyone.

Myth of the Day 45



MYTH: Two condoms are better than one.

FACT: In this case two is not necessarily better than one. In short, one condom does the job. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC), condoms when used consistently and correctly are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of STDs, including HIV. Each latex condom manufactured in the U.S. is tested for holes before packaging. Before using a condom it’s still a good idea to inspect to check the expiration date and make sure there has been no damage. In most cases, when people using condoms get pregnant or infected with and STD, it’s NOT because the condom broke; it’s because they either did not use the condom correctly, or they did not use it the whole time they were having sex.

For more information on how to correctly use condoms, click here.

Expanded: Two condoms is worse than one. It’s not like an upgrade from padded armor to chain mail, guys. The friction of the latex rubbing against itself makes two condoms more likely to break than using one properly. Don’t do it!

One of the many reasons why I will never shut up about Sex Ed



…Most Americans by now have a passing familiarity with the way the anti-choice movement has grown past attacks on abortion and is moving on to attacks on contraception access, from defunding Planned Parenthood to fighting the Obama administration on an HHS requirement to make contraception available without a co-pay to women with insurance. What they may see less of is the war on contraception that’s going on in the culture. Anti-choice activists have been turning up the volume on misinformation campaigns aimed at creating doubt in the public, especially among young people, about the efficacy of contraception. These efforts started in earnest under the Bush administration, with the explosion of federally funded abstinence-only programs. As those programs have mostly receded due to utter inability to convince kids to abstain from sex, efforts like 1 Flesh and the Pill Kills have stepped up to try to sow doubts about the use of contraception.

Abstinence-only programs were justified by claims that they were about discouraging teenage sex altogether, but considering how much anti-choice literature tells romantic stories about how unintended pregnancy led to ecstatic proposals and happily-ever-afters, one gets the feeling they also would be happy with an uptick in the unplanned pregnancy rate. Sites like 1 Flesh make the “more pregnancies” agenda clear; the site specifically argues against the use of contraception even in marriage, which can’t serve any other purpose in the reality-based world except to increase the rate of unintended pregnancies.

Unfortunately, the new strategies that 1 Flesh is using might actually be effective in achieving this goal, because unlike the old church lady-style methods of anti-contraception efforts, 1 Flesh is tapping into preexisting cultural myths and narratives about contraception that are already known to cause people to be inconsistent in their contraception use.

They go straight for some common beliefs: 1) condoms ruin sex (as Dan Savage has noted, if condoms decreased sensation that much, you’d think men would notice more when they broke); 2) the pill has a lot more negative side effects than it actually has; and 3) condom breakage is more common than it is. In other words, the usual comportment of myths that sex educators find they have to debunk coming from all sorts of people, even those who don’t have any relationship to the Christian right whatsoever.

1 Flesh also promotes the idea that birth control doesn’t do anything to reduce the unintended pregnancy rate. That this idea might have traction in the public at large already might seem asinine (what are people using all that contraception for, if not to prevent pregnancy?), but even without Christian right propaganda, the idea that birth control doesn’t do a very good job at preventing unintended pregnancy is surprisingly widespread. Earlier this year, Guttmacher released a study where it quizzed over 1,000 young people between ages 18 and 29 about their contraception knowledge. Unsurprisingly, the usual myths about condom failure and pill danger were well-represented, but the big surprise was that the myth that birth control doesn’t actually matter was also widespread.

A shocking 40 percent of the young people surveyed believed that using birth control doesn’t actually do much to prevent pregnancy, agreeing with the statement, “when it is your time to get pregnant, it will happen.” In other words, they had a magical belief that somehow the universe would prevent them from getting pregnant when it wasn’t time, even if they’re not using contraception at the time. This preexisting belief is one that groups like 1 Flesh are trying to encourage by spreading lies about how birth control doesn’t change the unintended pregnancy rate.

Why is it so easy for people to underestimate not just the effectiveness of birth control, but also how likely they are to get pregnant if they don’t use it? Part of the problem is, ironically, that birth control is so effective, but so hidden. Much as the anti-vaccine movement could only erupt in a culture where the diseases the vaccines prevent are out of sight and easy to dismiss, contraception works so well at suppressing fertility that many people have no idea how high fertility rates would be without it. Sex is everywhere: TV characters have it, songs on the radio are full of it, and most friends gossip about it. But contraception is rarely discussed in much detail, if at all. It’s easy for someone to look at all this booty-knocking and the relatively low birth rate and conclude that it’s not that easy to get pregnant instead of concluding, correctly, that contraception use is widespread.

To add even more confusion into the mix, heavy media coverage of infertility in light of exciting new technologies to fix the problem has had the side effect of encouraging people to overestimate their own chances of infertilityResearchers at John Hopkins University found that 19 percent of women and 13 percent of men ages 18-29 believed that they were likely to be infertile, though they had no evidence to believe this. The drumbeat of stories about couples who have a hard time conceiving might also contribute to the misconception that getting pregnant without contraception is more infrequent than it actually is.

In reality, a sexually active woman who uses no contraception has an 85 percent chance of getting pregnant within a year. Anti-contraception activists go out of their way to conceal this fact, hoping women feel that their risks of skipping contraception are much lower than they are. It would be laughable if the only audience for this anti-contraception propaganda were folks with good sex education and a solid knowledge of how effective contraception really is. Unfortunately, they’re speaking to a larger audience already rife with misinformation about contraception and fertility; an audience that might not like the anti-sex message, but could be influenced by the anti-contraception one.

Amanda Marcotte exposes 1 Flesh and other campaigns spreading misinformation about contraception. 1 Flesh doesn’t just promote condomless sex, they are aggressively anti-birth control of any kind, which presents a serious threat to the health and well being of young folks.

I already posted an excerpt from this article but now that 1Flesh has a Tumblr page that is tagging its posts to get into sexual health related tags it is time to post it again.

I am really confused on how to tell the difference between the proper side of the condom and when it is inside out. how do you tell the difference? they both seem the same to me!

A question by Anonymous

The direction of the rolling will tell you if you’re using the correct side. The condom should easily roll down the shaft of the penis/vibrator/dildo - so the roll should be on the outside and unravel counterclockwise down towards the base of the penis/vibrator/dildo. If you start off incorrectly, you’ll need to use another condom. If the condom is lubricated, you can also tell because the lubricant should be on the outside of the condom. This is a really great “how-to" resource for condoms. 

Hi, first off, I LOVE your blog. I think that it's very helpful, especially seeing that some questions I need answering have already been asked and answered by other people. But my question is, I'm really allergic to latex so a latex condom is out of the question for sexual intercourse. I know there are other alternatives for safety, I'm just really paranoid about getting pregnant, so I was wondering if you might have any suggestions.

A question by Anonymous

Thank you for the love! No problem if you have a latex allergy - you can use polyurethane condoms. Also, Skyn condoms by LifeStyles are pretty fantastic too - they are made out of polyisoprene (another latex alternative). Hope this helps? 

Regarding Durex Avanti Bare Condoms



I heard recently from a friend in the business that Avanti Bare Condoms (which were our go -to non-latex condoms for years) mysteriously switched to being latex with no change of name.. possible misleading latex-allergic customers to use a latex condom.

I finally got Durex to respond to my inquiry about this and here is what they said:

“At this time, this change to Avanti Bare Latex allows us to better meet the needs of our consumers.
However, we understand and appreciate your request.  This has been documented and will be considered during future initiatives.

We are no longer manufacturing the polyisoprene condoms.  They are not available throughout North America.”

My original question remains WHY DID THEY NOT CHANGE THE NAME!? It seems shady & deceptive to keep the name and not the latex-free aspect of the condoms. 


Whoa- reblogging for all my sex educator friends/ people with latex allergies. Not cool Durex, (but neither was switching your non-profit pricing and making your products inaccessible for a lot of people!)


weexist-weresist replied to your post: WHY are some men SO turned off by condoms!!!!!!????????? it’s like an instant boner killer for several of the men i have been with. last week when things started heating up w/ a guy i am with, i told him it was time to wrap it up, he literally went from hard to limp in a minute and got over it! How can we show men that sex with condoms is just as hot?

condoms reduce sensation. i think its as simple as that. but its not like you cant have a good time with them.

Absolutely they make things less sensitive but so does genital warts, genital herpes, chlamydia etc … If I didn’t have to wear a condom there is no way I would. But, condoms are one of the most beneficial preventative contraceptives. Done. What it ultimately comes down to is choice. If you trust your partner, if you trust yourself, then take that chance because it does feel phenomenal. But if your sexual freedoms are of value and you’re not in a scenario where trust and sexual health can be guaranteed, condoms are a good thing to use!

WHY are some men SO turned off by condoms!!!!!!????????? it's like an instant boner killer for several of the men i have been with. last week when things started heating up w/ a guy i am with, i told him it was time to wrap it up, he literally went from hard to limp in a minute and got over it! How can we show men that sex with condoms is just as hot?

A question by Anonymous

This is a VERY good question. I think pornography is intertwined with this issue. The average male starts watching porn at the age of 11, during the time their sexuality is developing. As they masturbate to the images they see, they sexually reinforce an image of sex without a condom. 

Now this is just a theory, but it is an issue that safe sexuality is not popular and not considered to be “sexy”. The only way we can show others that safe sex is sexy is by proving it.  Have the sexiest, hottest, orgasmic safe sex with this fellow and then see what he says about wrapping it up :) 

Friday Links Roundup 11/4/11 - Safe Sex, Sex Education, Condoms



Happy Friday ONE Condoms enthusiasts. It’s time for your weekly links roundup from ONE Condoms.

ONE is here to keep you up to date with anything related to safe sex, sex education, and condom use. The following links are articles that got us talking this past week.

Safe Sex

Thinking About Having Sex with a Vampire This Halloween? Planned Parenthood is Here to Help

Military promotes safe sex by providing free condoms galore to soldiers

A sex guide for today’s girls

Is Your Contraceptive Safe?

Whitis Court sets up haunted house to promote safe sex

Surprise, Teens Are More Likely Than Adults to Use Condoms

Is Sex Safe During Pregnancy?

Sex Education

Don’t Be Spooked by Sex Education

Sex Ed in New York City Schools: The Facts

What’s Actually Taught In Sex Ed Class

Sex education should be mandatory in all schools

America’s problem with sex education


Regulators on collision course with porn industry over condoms

Breaking a Long Silence on Population Control

AIDS dilemma: saving prisoners lives may mean condoning prohibited behaviour

Making condoms more ubiquitous than Cokes

Does the Pill make sex less pleasurable?

Use a condom, save the planet? New campaign shatters the taboo of overpopulation

Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing, 2006–2010

7 Billion: More of Us, Fewer of Them

"You want me to wear a condom? In THIS economy?"


This (totally in jest, we hope?) tweet by @WritingWilkie pretty much sums up what we were afraid we might hear from the folks interviewed in this video about how the economy affects their love lives. Fortunately, no one Veralyn talked to said they’re foregoing condoms to save money—all the interviewees grasped the faulty logic of that equation.

How do we know? Check out Nick and Keish talking to Veralyn about the importance of condoms for evidence.

Nick: “Honestly, like, it’s $15 for a box of condoms, right? But then I think about how much would it cost if I had a kid? Then I think about even worse what it would cost me if I had a disease.”
Keish: “Or even if you guys decided to terminate, you know, the pregnancy, that costs money too, so…”
Nick: “You know, it’s a lot of different things that actually…all those risks that could happen if I had unprotected sex are actually much more cost[ly] than if I just put on a condom and just go about my business…”

Unfortunately, many of the people Veralyn spoke with didn’t seem to know how cheap some of the most effective birth control methods can be. Depending on what state you live in, how much money you make, and whether you have insurance, there might be more affordable options available to you than you realize. And the new provision of the Affordable Care Act we keep talking about is set to make it mandatory for all insurance plans to cover every FDA-approved method of birth control without co-pays or deductibles.

More unfortunately still, some members of Congress seem to be having trouble grasping the concept that Nick and Keish articulated so well. What other reason would they have for proposing a bill that would make it harder to get affordable birth control? So if you’re feeling the pinch when it comes to paying for birth control, or if you simply believe affordable access to contraception is important, let your Representative know how you feel.

And remember, too much sitting is officially bad for your health, so the next time you want to spend time with someone special, promise us you’ll think beyond the couch? Check out these Frisky Friday cheap date ideas to get the wheels turning.