THE SEX UNEDUCATED

Sex + Gender
Queer + Feminist
Social theory + Cultural Critique

(about the anon sex as a need question) Sometimes these questions make me uncomfortable because I have felt pressure in my life from entitled men who *need* sex. So i agree with everything you've brought up, but i also want to say extra extra explicitly that sex is not the kind of basic human need which *requires* other people to have sex with you

A question by Anonymous

Exactly. This is what I meant by sex and sexuality can never be thought of without also thinking of gender, history, economics etc. Sex being thought of as a biological need is often the very logic rape culture and patriarchy has been mapped onto. 

Do you believe that sex is a basic human need? Is it necessary to have a healthy sex life to have a happy, fulfilling, and stable life?

A question by Anonymous

These are two great questions, but I don’t think they are mutually exclusive.  I think sexuality, in all of its forms (including asexuality, which IS a sexuality) is intrinsic to the human experience. Considering it a basic human need, however, is a difficult question to consider. Our sense of identity/self is always tied up with sexuality and sexual awareness. This is not easily extractable as some singular ‘biological’ expression of human consciousness, but also a constant moment-to-moment negotiation with societies and cultures that are saturated with sexuality. Furthermore, as social people, we are constantly negotiating the sexuality of others and situating ourselves in relation to that as well. So, is the act of sex a basic human need? For some people, yes. For others, no. Has it become a fundamental part of our human socio-cultural experience? Yes, I would say it has - even if only in a symbolic sense. Regarding your last question, I would argue it is not universally necessary to have a healthy sex life in order to live a happy, fulfilling, and stable life. Not in the slightest. There are plenty of people who are ace, demi, or celibate (there are many, many shades of sexuality here) that are leading wonderful and beautiful lives. I suppose the last thing I will say here is that I am always very reluctant to extract something like sex, for instance, and thing of it as a singular modality of life. Nothing is ever extractable. Everything is tied up together, just like a rhizome. We cannot think of sex without thinking of economics, history, gender, race, ability, geography, language etc. These things are constantly in conversation with each other affecting the way an individual comes to understand the self and then relate with the outer world. 

mrsjonie:

10 Steps to Positive Body Image: One list cannot automatically tell you how to turn negative body thoughts into positive body image, but it can introduce you to healthier ways of looking at yourself and your body.  The more you practice these new thought patterns, the better you will feel about who you are and the body you naturally have.

  1. Appreciate all that your body can do.  Every day your body carries you closer to your dreams.  Celebrate all of the amazing things your body does for you—running, dancing, breathing, laughing, dreaming, etc.
  2. Keep a top-ten list of things you like about yourself—things that aren’t related to how much you weigh or what you look like.  Read your list often.  Add to it as you become aware of more things to like about yourself.
  3. Remind yourself that “true beauty” is not simply skin deep.  When you feel good about yourself and who you are, you carry yourself with a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and openness that makes you beautiful regardless of whether you physically look like a supermodel.  Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body.
  4. Look at yourself as a whole person. When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts.  See yourself as you want others to see you–as a whole person.
  5. Surround yourself with positive people. It is easier to feel good about yourself and your body when you are around others who are supportive and who recognize the importance of liking yourself just as you naturally are.
  6. Shut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not “right” or that you are a “bad” person.  You can overpower those negative thoughts with positive ones.  The next time you start to tear yourself down, build yourself back up with a few quick affirmations that work for you. 
  7. Wear clothes that are comfortable and that make you feel good about your body.  Work with your body, not against it.
  8. Become a critical viewer of social and media messages. Pay attention to images, slogans, or attitudes that make you feel bad about yourself or your body.  Protest these messages:  write a letter to the advertiser or talk back to the image or message
  9. Do something nice for yourself—something that lets your body know you appreciate it.  Take a bubble bath, make time for a nap, find a peaceful place outside to relax.
  10. Use the time and energy that you might have spent worrying about food, calories, and your weight to do something to help others.  Sometimes reaching out to other people can help you feel better about yourself and can make a positive change in our world.

(via fuckyeahsexeducation)

  1. You are stronger than you realise.
  2. You are crueller than you realise.
  3. The smallest words will break your heart.
  4. You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
  5. People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
  6. You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
  7. You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.
  8. You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
  9. Never stop yourself texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9.30 a.m., tell them again.
  10. Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the Travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
  11. You will be scared of all kinds of things, of spiders and clowns and eating alone, but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself.
  12. Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
  13. You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed.
  14. Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to survive.
  15. You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call.
  16. You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
  17. You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin.
  18. Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
  19. People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening.
  20. You will be okay.
  21. You will be okay.

—    21 things my father never told me (via motelstyles)

(via theirrelevanceofgender)

suaine:

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS SUPER SWEET ICE-CREAM AD LESBIAN LOVE STORY WITH LILY ALLEN AS THE CUPID

Look, it’s 8 minutes of queer love story that isn’t about being queer and how terrible it is. Instead their problems are perfect rom-com problems. This is what I’m talking about.

Give me a hundred thousand versions of this. I’ll pay you. I’ll give you my soul for these two in SPACE.

ahhh so cute

(via lgbtgivesmehope)

seeing them live tonight. yesyesyesyes

thecsph:

"No pride for some of us without liberation for all of us. Portrait of Marsha "Pay It no Mind" Johnson, a mother of the trans* and queer liberation movement. She fought at Stonewall and dedicated her life to helping trans* youth, sex workers and poor and incarcerated queers. We honor her legacy by supporting trans women of color to Live + Lead."

Credit to:Micah Bazant

Hello! I don't know if you read the webcomic Oh Joy Sex Toy, but the artist's most recent strip is about herpes, and I thought you might appreciate it (or, I suppose, potentially have criticisms). In any case, I just wanted to bring it to your attention. Love your blog!

A question by beautyinyourlines

I will definitely check it out! Thanks for letting me know and thanks for the love xx

Do you know when youre going to public the rest of your thesis on your tumblr??

A question by Anonymous

I posted it! My complete honors thesis is available right here !!! :) 

Woah, you are incredibly gorgeous

A question by inthesofia

why thank you :)