Nuances of multifaceted gender presentation and privilige


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I generally state that I’m a transwoman. This isn’t completely true because I don’t feel I really fall squarely in that binary but mentioning much deviance from that would threaten my transition which I’ve thought really long and hard about and have come to terms with. So for all intents and purposes I’m a transwoman going through that set of experiences. 

I am very early in my transition and haven’t even started hormones yet. I am active duty military, meaning I have to maintain my appearance according to regulation. So when I do not go out dressed up or anything I present very much and is perceived as male unless otherwise stated by me.

It is very clear to me how different it is when I go out in public without doing much to present as female. It is incredibly frustrating to know that for me to be honored as a woman I have to go WAY out of my way to try to appear as one, dressing in ways that I am not sure I would do if I was cis.

However, as uncomfortable it is for me to present myself as male and just bite it, it is really apparent how differently people treat me and as long as I’m perceived as male how some of the privileges that go along with that open up to me. I can walk alone and not feel overly threatened, I do not get the stares, I do not get people looking at me like I’m a piece of meat, I get left alone and my personal space is respected. Granted as soon as I deviate from this presentation all of that quickly evaporates. Due to necessity of work and how early I am in my transition I get really varied experience depending how I go out.

It’s not that I have tons of male privilege at this point in my transition, I don’t have much. When deviating even a little, most of that evaporates pretty fast anyhow. I still get very uncomfortable with the rampant misogyny of this culture, but for me it’s almost like second hand smoke when I’m not deviating much from male norms. I see it, it makes me uncomfortable and wary, but until I deviate it isn’t directly pointed at me. It’s kinda like seeing someone shooting at a target and knowing that you yourself is going to be that target very, very shortly. It is still very disconcerting, it is still very threatening and it still makes me very uncomfortable but the gun is not yet pointed at me and as I remain so early in my transition and under the radar I have the liberty of not being shot at. 

I wouldn’t say that’s a privilege because it’s pretty much saying keep myself silenced and conform to something you are not or get shot at but for now I have a bit of freedom to what I get subjected to. It is abundantly clear to me that people target me for what the perceive I am. I get a lot more leeway and enjoy a much greater degree of safety and freedom when I go out being heavily read as male even at the cost of the discomfort that that brings. I know that very soon that ability to be read as male will evaporate and any benefits that have with me will quickly outweigh the discomfort it brings. 

I find it interesting how fluid the privileges and oppression I am subject to are when I have a bit of freedom of expressing myself fluidly. I do not believe those nuances are unique to gender fluid people but apply to actively transitioning are pre-transitioning people as well, with a bit greater cost because of dysphoria and greater emphasis in conforming to gender roles just to be read as who you are. 

I dunno maybe I’m just rambling. I tend to try to avoid it altogether by not going out much either way. I’m also white and getting steady pay from the military while I’m still in. My experience and perspective on this may be very unique so this might not apply to most people. 

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Queer Women of Color Romance Novels


This is all links, so I couldn’t really do it in an ask. Black lesbian fiction, lots of romance

Goodreads lists:

Those lists aren’t all romance, but a lot of them are.

I’m going to be spending a bit more time on my personal blog, ascension-seeker, sharing my creativity with you all. My personal blog is a departure from The Sex Uneducated, but not entirely. My politics, philosophies, sexuality, gender, and activism follow me wherever I go. Yet, ascension-seeker will show you more of my personal writing, photography, and fashion interests (which are always queer, always androgynous). Please follow if you like! Definitely take a look at the actual blog as well, I quite like the aesthetic. Thank you for all of your love and support. 

Anonymous asked:

Ok so I just masturbated with my fingers on my clit and a vibe on my gspot and I had a really intense orgasm... It's been like 15 minutes and I can still feel myself climaxing over and over... Is that normal?

Yes! Sounds like a good one! 

Folks with vaginas have the possible ability to have multiple/rolling orgasms (although, as with everything, there are always the exceptions). This, however, is likely what you’re describing -  a series of sequential orgasmic experiences that occur in quick succession. Unlike many folks with a penis, vaginal anatomy doesn’t experience a refractory period (the period of time after penile ejaculation when they can’t be immediately aroused). So this explains why you’re continuing to feel that orgasm sensation! Hope this helps and continue to explore.